Where's Jim when you need him?

I've been wondering lately, how it is a 20-something who has been in an office environment for only four months now, knows office etiquette better than the federal officer in the next cube over who happens to have 20 years of experience in a certain intelligence agency?

I present my case.

Screaming into your phone about your gutters not being cleaned properly, passing gas rather loudly (on more than one occasion), a mid-morning in-cube manicure... Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy- but can you save the clipping and filing for the privacy of your own bathroom and take some gas-x with your lunch?

Maybe it's my years of shared housing throughout my college years that taught me certain habits are best left behind closed doors- especially in cramped quarters. On a Monday. After four hours of sleep. Who knew those years of shared rooms, bathrooms, tiny kitchens, messy living, being woken up at 3am by your drunken roommate, hearing said roommate have sex 15 feet away, etc., would turn up to mold me into the outstanding office etiquette savvy individual I am today? They do say college builds character! The real test will be if my 9-5 does the same....